I wrote this the end of May. And never put it up.
"..want old loves, rock and republics, with black stitching, trying to make up for what you lacked every black christmas. its kind of amazing, my ends not just meeting, their really well acquainted, although I never say it, downplayed out of necessity, but standing next to me, my crew encouraged me 2 make it.."
Honestly though, these kicks are probably the only Jordans I ever really wanted. But enough about that. I have to clear the air on some things real quick.
"She haunted by they laughter, shadows juss harass her, confined and isolated she delays those coming after, I'm trying to surpass the, graves around your heart, so, let me help your caspers lay still with they cadavers... I thought that we could smoke this cancer, one cigarette for every nigga that had had her, your allure I allude to, this ink builds rapport, I know I'm not what you used to but this is nothin' like before.."
(<--- this is Mayte. New Love.) She makes me smile. Not necessarily in the traditional crush sense. In the sense that, I'm starting to smile at her imperfections. Like those two ridiculously large front teeth she has. (I chose this picture for emphasis on the teeth.) And I'm not the kind of guy who really goes to such lengths to declare something like this. Once I come to terms with a certain way that I'm feeling, I might disclose it on the sly, because I feel giving it an audience might, i don't know, lessen it in some way? But whatever. The story behind our introduction is... hilarious now that I think about it. She intimidated me from the moment she took my fitted off my head and rocked it while we ate at some pasta factory spot up in Philly. My ex-girlfriends' ex girl friend. She proceeded to interrogate me as my stomach decided to rebel, and came to the conclusion that I was "silent, but likeable". Fast forward to my decision of going to the Air Force. THIS individual hopped on the phone and gave me a 20 minute spiel as to why such a move would be detrimental to my future. We weren't even tight, but she felt the need to say something. Between random smart-ass comments through facebook, we began to talk again almost a year later. Then I discovered she was a poet. She doesn't just write poetry; she's a poet. I think that anyone can sit down and jot down a few metaphors that sound clever to come out as a poem on any given day. A poet, on the other hand, understands the magnitude of words. Language becomes something closer to air and so poet's leave a little piece of their soul in each and every one of their compositions. I think that in itself is something beautiful. So long story short, she climbed the ladder some. Over the past couple of months, I've fallen in love with (the majority of..) her writing and what she can do with words. Her truth behind her words is sometimes painful, sometimes humorous, sometimes disheartening, but (almost, 90 percent) always real. Granted, she hangs up on people... but whatever. Some of my favorite quotables:
(excuse me if I don't write them verbatim.)
"Human loneliness is frowned upon. Atomic loneliness is deemed unstable."
"i want to be clothed in nothing but your epithelials" (I had to google that word..)
"He's scared of his own light, so I let him borrow some of mine."
"And Saturn must be married with all those rings around her.."
"I write with black ink because pen's don't come in Dominican"
"Because to me its nothing but a book with a shy author.." (in reference 2 the bible)
"I wish to transfer to Hogwarts... or at least go there for graduate school." (not in a poem at all... but...lmao)
Her honest and opinionated pieces have pushed me to integrate my own truths into my writing. I used to want to come up with the most clever shit... and even though I wrote from feeling, I never pushed it too far because there's a certain level of honesty I never wanted to disclose. But that's what beauty is; complete, unrestrained. highly vulnerable. So I'm not going to go half-assed with things now just to "wow" a reader. I want them to understand the why behind what I wrote. Why it was written. What part of me that I'm trying to paint a picture of. And I want the image I paint with my words to be burned into their minds. I want feeling, not just reaction.. if that makes any sense. I want to write a poem that simultaneously breaks me down and builds someone else up. She's inspired me to push my writing in that direction.
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